Total Pageviews

Friday 12 September 2014

Scientists have announced that they may have discovered a previously unknown level of bullshit lies and misinformation.

Scientists have announced that they may have discovered a previously unknown level of bullshit lies and misinformation.

‘We have hypothesised for a long time that a level of bullshit, lies and misinformation so incredibly high as to be almost incalculable could theoretically occur, but now it appears that we may be close to proving its existence’, said leading researcher Dr Tony Crust. DCUK bullshit research enjoyed its golden age in the days when Kenny boy was at the helm, the Clueless, the Useless, and the Hopeless elements were all discovered, who together heavily promoted the US food pyramid, but it was probably the discovery of the Total F**kwits, (Phoenix, Nobblyhead and Forge) which revitalized the entire field and led directly to this newest breakthrough. Scientists have dubbed this latest discovery the DCUK Clan Particle. ‘The Clan Particle, if confirmed, will represent a level of bullshit, lies and misinformation several magnitudes above even the Total F**kwits’ Explained Dr Crust. ‘It really is almost impossible to overstate just how high a level of bullshit and misinformation we are talking about here’ it was ever thus.



1 comment:

John said...

Eddie,
Your use of the ‘Standard Model’ to depict the DCUK clan actually has a surprising resonance! The entities W+/W- and Z0 are termed the ‘weak bosons’. From “The Concise New Partridge Dictionary of Slang and Unconventional English” a boson is the smallest possible unit measuring the bogus content of something.

A very apt description of the DCUK clan.